GOGO BOY?

I got an email invitation for GoGo boy audition for the launching of BED BAR (Opens at Dec 17th) I don’t think I have the courage to dance just wearing Speedos alone. Thanks for the invites but I’ll pass.

office romance

It’s true when they say don’t shit on your own back yard; Mahirap kasi pag may problema kayo sa isat-isat malamang maapektuhan ang trabaho. For sure at first it’s all icing on the cake but sooner or later when things get rough the last thing you know desk are flying over. I had my share.
Now, I am dating somebody from work, the good thing is he’s not from my department but were on same floor and to top it all we have lots of common friends at work. Yes I have some reservation about it, the “what if’s“is getting into me… He seem to be a good guy, malambing and close to his folks (which is a good sign for me) however when he ask me about being exclusive I step back and think, it’s too early for that besides (to me) exclusive dating is same as officially together. There are rules to set in and rules need to be followed. Not that I don’t want to but it’s just too early for that.
I will take my time, I’m in no rush.

back dating...putting self out there!

friend of mine once told me in order to find that guy, you need to put your self out there...mejo hesitant pa ako makipag-meet guys sa bar, i have some reservations about that but i'll soon figure it out, if I cant change things maybe I have to change my strategy diba? So there I had a good date last night we went on movie and coffee. It was abit relaxing eventhough I have less sleep thank god for the double shot caramel machiato. He was ok naman, he's two years older than me independent di mayabang, may sense kausap...but the catch here is we work in same company but ofcourse on a different department, tagal na kame magkakilala but we dont talk to each other we just have same circle of friends and officemates, we found it funny nga eh after all this time were on a date!

Nothing serious here yet...I just want to date, its to soon for that.

B-ye...

Pagkatapos nung araw na yun, it didnt hurt that much compared from my previous relationship...wasn't expecting it though, but looking on the brighter side at least we havent invested that much yet, it broke my heart ofcourse but never the less its going to be fine...I'm not going to be that bitter guy and say bad stuff, I've been there tama na yun...ang panget ng ganon, infact I find that immature. I learned my lesson well...I'd say break ups sometimes makes us emotionally developed.

I will keep that email you sent and will serve as a reality check. For whatever it is, thank you for making me strong, and made me realize that break up is inevitable and sometimes things will happen with out any warning. Take care.

Bye.

ORANGE BLOSSOM HOT TEA

Starbucks please have this back!!!

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE

thank you for comming into my life and made feel that I can love again. Thank for choosing me to love you. I'll try my best to be a better man for you.

102310

itong petsa na ito magbibigay ng ibang kahulugan sa aking buhay...something unexpected and surprising nangyari sa araw na to'. Mr Independent and I are now officially together.

Kinakabahan ako....may halong takot at saya but for now I will enjoy this journey and will face the twist and turns on this new relationship. This is my second relationship. Im hopping that i will be stronger (and brave enough) to handle this relationship.

it took me for awhile to say this...I love you babe.

red light!!!!

Mr. Independent and I have been dating for quite sometimes now, well things are kinda not that clear yet we haven’t labeled anything so far. The fact that we just met last Sept 11 I think we’re just taking our time to get to know more each other. Funny was we had little argument na so I’d say there’s intimacy going on. To be honest I am bit scared to accept the fact that I am falling for him. Yeah before there’s this I thought I might be just his arm candy but I saw his sincerity when he gave me a surprise visit at work he went all the way here from his place to explain his feelings, that he wanted this to work out. I’m glad to hear that, and I feel the same way too!
Minsan I can’t help myself but mairita when I don’t hear from him, I know he has work (and so am I) …damn! Errrr….I am thinking too much!? I have to control this feeling I’m scared to get hurt again…but I like him dearly.

Mr. Big

“Who was your unforgettable date?”
I was asked by my friend this question and suddenly I realized it wasn’t my boyfriend of 7 yrs was the memorable one but it was the man that I met when my ex was having a relationship with other guy. Let’s call him Mr. Big (in fact that’s what I call him and I am not referring to his ‘size’ but as Mr. Big from Sex and the City and he calls me kiddo!) we met few years back at the gym, funny was I was at the treadmill and suddenly he approached me and introduced himself and I was just astonished…he says that he reads my blog (previous blog) and from little talk we exchanged digits.
Two weeks after he asked me out, and he brought me to Galileo Enoteca in Mandaluyong and that was the best date I ever had....baket? One, the restaurant was very intimate and let me just say it was very romantic we were surrounded by all kinds of wine from all over the world and not to mention how expensive they were. Two, I was on a very strict diet that time and the first thing I had was white wine, ang sarap nya talaga I have tasted a lot of wine but that wine was simply the best of all! It was weird I got tipsy fast that time well siguro naman kasi dahil din sa ilan beses ako uminom nung wine na iyon, so I excused myself and went out to get some fresh air, I think na overwhelm din ako sa nangyayari but the moment I stepped out of the door I just threw up THREE TIMES! It was so embarrassing that he ended up looking for me and caught me puking! Kahiya talaga, but he were so nice (very caring in fact) he helped me and gave me water. Made sure that I was feeling ok. Hinatid nya ako pauwi but even though I threw up that night that didn’t stoped him from kissing me three times in the car.
Till today when I think of that moment it always remind me of how fun and great is to be with him and how good man and lovable he is. I’m glad that we still remain friends nagkikita na lng kame pag may occasion and I never fail to give him my warm and kind hug and also a kiss on his cheeks. He will always have a good spot in my heart. He is happy now and I am very happy for him.

its going to be new run...from now on.

It was last year when I started joining marathons, I’m not athletic at all, I suck in all sports. But I thought I needed to do something so I can let my mind get off from terrible stuff. Marathon was there to help me make me tired and make me think things…clearly. Habang tumatakbo ako nakakaisip ako ng maayos, pakiramdam ko kasi laban ko yun, laban ko matapos yun takbo ko at kalaban ko sarili ko….in short all I think is myself. When I signed up for Adidas king of the road last year I just tried the 5k, after the run it felt good pero nabitin ako since then I always signed up for 10k and hoping I will have my first 21k run-soon!

It felt good to finish all my run, made me feel that I can do anything or be anything, kaso nararamdaman ko lang yan pag nasa takbo ako after that nawawala na. I think this feeling is normal especially if you still feel the adrenalin running in our veins during the marathon and to be honest I like that feeling. At least kahit papano I accomplished something.

These run that I’ve been joining help me get through something made me feel that it will be ok, I will be ok. Every run that I attended my ex boyfriend for 7 years was never there to support me, every time Im at the finish line nobody was there to cheer for me, walang sumisigaw “go kaya mo yan!!!” Love wasn’t in the air…but I get through it. It took some time though. But I’m over now. Happier now.
This time, my run is going to be healthy no extra baggage it’s going to be light and it will be fun, and to top it all most people that I know will be there to join! I think this time LOVE will definitely be in the air.

So, see you there guys...and who knows I might meet new friends there....it could be you. :)

he texted....

Mr. Independent sent me a sms today:

I really want this to work

Me:

Me too...

Mr Independent:

Babe, tulog na tayo, Come here...Hug tight.

blogging again...feels good.

I have been blogging for almost 4 years but unfortunately I NEEDED to delete that blog .Naisip ko na maganda siguro na magkaroon na tahimik na buhay. Ngunit habang tumatagal di ko mapigilan magbasa ng blog ng mga friends ko and I realized I missed it so much. It took me a very long time to create (and keep) this new blog actually naka tatlong beses ako gumawa ng blog and everytime I have it the next day Im deleteing it. Siguro kasi I wasn't that ready to post stuff about my life...but here I am nagsusulat ulit...masarap, masaya. I tried to twicth some stuff kahit papano I have to keep it a little private and a bit anonymous.
I am hoping that things will be ok again di ko na siguro maiibalik yun dati pero Im glad that I am back, sabi nila kasi nakakatulong makalimot ang pagsusulat and I think thats true.

ps: thanks to some of my blog readers who send me messages through FB asking me to go back blogging. So here it is...(kaso di ko alam if I have to tell you guys the link so I'll let the fate do the work) :)

Menshealth urbanathlon 2010

This will be my second time joining the Urbanathlon, last year event I was with my blogger friends (I wonder if they're joining this year) this time I was able to convince my friends to join the run. Too bad I was hoping I will be joining the 10k, to my surprise the slots is already full. Anyway 5k is not that bad at all...I just hope this time it will be more exciting!!!

Adidas: KING OF THE ROAD 2010

I'd say this year singlet seems ordinary/dull. Last years bright yellow was amazing....Anyway I can't wait for the marathon come Oct 24. Adidas King of the Road 2009 run was my first ever marathon...and since then I am hooked.

Mr. Independent...is back again.

He arrived from his vacation abroad (it’s all over his FB shout out) we haven’t been exchanging sms for quite some time it was a surprised to hear from him and asking me to join for a Saturday night out with a common friend. I was trying not to reply back pretending I didn’t received anything…kaso ewan ko nga ba…I replied, I was telling myself not to!!! (stupid)
Though we had a little exchange of messages that day mga tanong na dapat sagutin, but he made it a point that I should be there. Feeling ko maybe he wanted to see me, siguro na miss nya ako, or maybe he run out of ‘toys’…for whatever it is pumayag ako, since I’m going to be with my friends naman. I figured if things will go wrong I can excuse my self-easily.
On the day of meet up, he was a bit lost so I had to go out of my way and meet him…and to be honest I was melting inside when I saw him. I keep on telling myself not to be too sweet to him, I need to be act just like one of his friends-civil lang. It was really cute when he asked me to turn around (we’re inside his car) when he wanted to change his shorts into jeans. We both laugh at it “ I saw you worst that that---we we’re naked together” I replied. But I still I turned around and let him change.
He was supposed to cancel the meet up he felt that he might get lost but he was saying such “ok lng I can die in boredom in my room” So now it’s my job na pilitin syang luamabas, YES. I still have something for him and I wanted to see him that night…I was preparing myself to see him again.
My friends were very nice to him in fact I think he was enjoying the attention. I couldn’t stop but grabbed his hands and hold em’ tight..it felt good. I may not be able to kiss him that night but that’s just ok having him next to me and able to hold his hand, made the night complete.
That night on our way home we sort things out and we’ll give another chance to what have been ended so fast. Honestly I’m getting scared the “if’s” and “buts” are playing inside my head-again. He is being sweet and all after last night….di kaya bored lang sya? I couldn’t help but wonder why do we need to pushed our self to these dramas that fact that we already had these before?

movie: CHARLIE ST. CLOUD

I decided to have movie date again with Smirk guy; this is the second time we went on movie date. And I’d like to say that he is fun to be with especially when watching movie siguro kasi he writes about movies (on this certain website) kaya he always has something to say, for his age at 23, he is very smart guy!

I’d rate the movie from 1 to 5, I’ll give 2.
The plot of the movie was about a relationship between two brothers who had an car accident younger brother died then Zac or Charlie blame himself because of it.

It nice to know that Zac is now on mature roles and I’d say the boy can really act. Aside from his hot physique he can be the next Brad Pitt I’d say.

Mr. Taken

I have been friends with him and his partner and they’re nice. Apparently I have been hanging out with my friend especially on my free time, and sometimes he would drop by my work and bring me food. I didn’t give any malice to it, I thought he was just being sweet and of course the fact that he knows the history of my broken relationship any act that is associated to that would just be a no no to me…
Until one time we spent a long drive together going south it’s a favor I asked to surprise Mr. Independent. It was already late then my friend asked if he could sleep over at my place, since I don’t see any bad motives from him I let him stayed over it was a bit awkward for me though but I let him since I asked favor naman for that long drive. Just to be fair (p.s. I just got a text message and he is here, brought me some snacks. I need to go down and pick it up… )
The hugging while sleeping was very new to me, “very new” because the person hugging me while sleeping is already committed. That’s not a good picture…I tried to move and pretend that nothing is going on. Then one time he visited me brought me food at work and chatted inside his car, and then there you go…the inevitable kiss he gave on my lips. I told him right away that he is already committed and I’m very sure his partner would favor on what his doing. It was an awkward scene but I have to tell him that because I know he is a good guy and won’t do anything bad for his relationship… but he just did. Allegedly.
So far everything is kinda normal now, but minsan di nya maiwasan mag biro…stuff like he wanted to kiss me and “more”…I tried to shrug it off and pretend it’s just a silly joke. Now it lead to me thinking, ganito ba ang nangyayari pag matagal na kayo sa relasyon? That it’s easy to do things coz you know at the end of the day you have someone to go home to and the capacity to extra yourself to somebody adds up spice to the relationship (or ego booster)? I would still like to hold on to the thought that we gay guys are still in believe of what true relationship is all about (mutual, permanent and exclusive), that we are not promiscuous bitch and that we gay guys can still think straight and keep our word.

Im not a TOY.

ARM CANDY
An attractive, seemingly romantic companion who accompanies a person in public simply so that one or both of the individuals can gain attention, enhance social status, or create an impression of sexual appeal

I understand this now, fully! , why? Because that’s how I feel when I’m with you. You bring me to your friend’s party and introduce me to them with your policy that I can’t hold your hands or give them the idea that you and I are going out…or at least give them the idea that I’m sleeping with you. I never thought that you can be like this. Maybe it’s because you can take it away with your looks. My intention for you was real, and I have been true and honest with that, but I’m not a toy. I went through a very bad relationship and I was able to pick up the pieces and moved on, with this I’m sure I’m going to find ways. The world is HUGE.

Ps. if there’s something I learned from this is, people like YOU exist not just in movies and that I am still capable of loving after what I went through.

mr. Independent the key to my heart?

They say that best things comes to those who waits…when you say ‘wait’ do you have to stay in one corner and wait for the fruit to fall and eat it? Or run and reach for the ladder and pick that apple up on the tree?...
I have been always vocal to my good friends that I am not ready yet for another commitment, or perhaps I keep on forcing myself not to entertain when somebody wanted to get in my cautious heart probably I am just taking my time to heal. And I believed I needed that most.
But today something is different…something is weird going on in my head. I tried to stop it. Sabi nga nila the more you stop the more it’ll get worst. And there…GUSTO KO SIYA! I can’t stop think about him! CRAZY! Para akong high school!!!
I made a call today and would really want to hear his voice, and napapa-talon puso ko sa tuwa pag kausap ko sya! He is like a drug that heals my emotion inside! And I THINK THAT’S GOOD!!! And was more than happy when he said that he misses me so much! ITO NA NGA BA EH!!! Ayun bumigay na ako…my knees was already soft, had sweaty palms in a very cold room!
Please, dear Almighty if he is the one please let him stay and would like to work things out with him otherwise, let him go early before I will start turning the key into the door.

Mr.Independent 2

after my long day from derma, gym then drinking with friends was forcing myself not to bother him maybe I might be just overwhelm with the feelings...but I just cant handle it, I gave in. I sent him sms and wondering what was he doing, aparently he was just waiting for my text...dang! see thats what we get if we wait turns! we waste time!...
I asked him if its ok to meet up even though is was already past 1am..gladly he did say yes. SIGH. Iba tong nararamdaman ko....iba. Im kinda scared, feeling ko ang bilis ng nararamdaman ko...ayaw ko magkamali...o umasa.
I had the best time awhile ago... and the kiss was just perfect.

...and missing it badly now. :(