we've met way back '04 online we never had the chance to meet up. but occasionaly emails and just 'kumusta bro' and thats it. Until after many years we met at the gym and it all started there. He is 8 years older than me, and I dont think I have a problem with that. We started saying hi and hello's at the gym and that just it, we eventually became friends then one time I went up to him for shoulder to cry on. He was so nice and sincere and I really appreciate his gesture. Mabait syang tao at damang dama ko ang tunay na kaibigan sa kanya...
Naging malalim ang aming bonding, naging magaan ang friendship namin. I finally had friend! Di kasi ako madali magtiwala and make a new found friend a trusted friend...sabi nga nila a true friend is indeed hard to find. I thank the Almighty for bringing him to my life.
He was the person that I run to when I found out that my boyfriend of 12 years was cheating on me. He was there to listen and really support my decision and like any other friends would really just be there and make sure that I am ok. After I broke up with my ex, Mr. magazine and I kept our friendship and was really just smooth. Until after many months right before my birthday, he open up his feeling for me. I would be stupid to say na di ko inaasahan yun, alam ko na darating yung pag kakataon na yun, but when I heard that I really dont feel ready for it. But I was so week and longing that time that I went with the flow although not right away but i kinda give a hint to it.
Di ko naman tinignan yun na mali kasi at that moment wala akong nakikita di tama, at alam ko wala naman akong inaapakan na tao...single at malaya ako. Then we started dating, we go out like couples na although nothing is official yet, I always remind him na to take things slowly and he is good with that naman (ang bait nya talaga). I always admire him for his works and how great he is on his all works. Napagaling at talino nya.
I never felt special in my past relationship, sa twelve years namin pagsasama ni minsan wala ako naranasan na I was special (...infact I'm trying to think of things now, wala ako maalala.) I see dozen of flowers on my office at nakakatuwa. Although di talaga ako sanay with recieving of flowers but I'm just enjoying the moment, since di ko naman narasana ito dati. Everyday was special to me. Feeling ko lagi ako lumulutang sa panginip...I'm not kidding thats how i trully feel.
Then things got cloudy when we had our first love making...I realized I was still not ready, kasi napapansin ko I dont get that real hard on, infact I was forcing my mind to let go and do it...but sadly it was just hard for me... thoughts running in my head like could it be that Im not sexually attracted to him?...then eventually he started noticing it during the foreplay, I tried to snob the issue and told him I was tired. But sabi nga nila action speaks louder than words. Dalawang beses ito nangyari at di ko alam kung bakit ganun. If I recall it right, the sex that I had with Mr. Stars was great, hot infact...I think there's something wrong with my attraction to him sexually....is that fair, to have a good relationship with a good guy but not good in bed?
Things got shallow afterwards when he demanded that I wont use condom, and i really cant and wont do that. He claims na doon daw nagsisimula ang cheating when one uses condom, this is daw a way na pwede makipag sex sa iba. I was not expecting that from a good professional and mature guy at all...I told him that its protection for both of us not becuase its a way to cheat...i got off the bed took a shower then left.
It would have been a nice relationship but it seems that both of us are still swimming on our own personal issues...
